A Special Day

HAPPY FEBRUARY 69th!!!!!!!

Today is a special holiday in the world of Korean Automobile Manufacturers (formerly known as Hyundai Horse-drawn Carriages, Inc.) It is February 69th. At least according to the digital calendar in my Hyundai Santa Fe. I have two semi-researched and developed theories that could possibly elucidate this phenomenon.

1) April 11/February 69th is the Korean equivalent of the noted, but sparsely recognized, U.S./Canadian Holiday of Steak and a BJ Day (March 14 on the Gregorian Calendar.) The culturally-conscientious electrical engineers at Hyundai merely desired to expand the Western awareness of this amaranthine Korean celebration. Their medium of correspondence: a subtle hint on my vehicular calendar. Komapsumnida Hyundai!!!

2) Koreans overlook the Western observance of Leap Year. This theory presents striking and alarming similarities to the dreaded Millenium Bug. Dare I concern myself that this seemingly minor oversight will, ultimately, result in the spontatneous combustion (in the manner of Peter "James" Bond, Spinal Tap drummer- deceased) of the electrical bits and, subsequently the entire automobile (right down to its shiny pine green lacquer?) R.I.P. Santa Fe.

Despite the scientific likelihood of the latter, I am rather hoping that the former theory proves accurate.

A Treatise to the frustrations of D.C. driving

Now that I have been living and/or driving in Washington D.C. for about a year, I have developed an emic appreciation of the typical trials and tribulations that await the vehicular commuter during their vocational trajectory. I have developed a brief treatise devoted to this subject. In honour of the recent National Cherry Blossom Festival I will subsequently present said dissertation utilizing the noble, Japanese poetic form of Solo Renga. For you literary critics and grammophiles, this music/political junkee has managed to throw together the proper form of this lyrical verse.

On D.C. Drivers

Lane Lines

They're compulsory Those painted white dividers Do not cross or else.

If the road curves, the lines curve Alter path accordingly.

Failure to adhere

Angers fellow motorists Road rage a plenty.

The All-Way Stop Remember Drivers' Ed? First car stopped? Go first. Or else... Left car yields to right. Don't forget: full stops are key And patience averts clusterfuck. U-Turns Four-lane, two-way street Quintessentially bad place To misplace yourself. Should this occur in the far right lane, Don't amend with sudden U-Turn. Sizeable Buick Immense turning radius Once again: clusterfuck. Photo Speed Traps Small white rumble strips Bane of us D.C. speeders Annoying tickets. If sub-speed, there is no need To suddenly mash the brakes. 395/E St. Tunnel vs. 18-Wheelers Caution to large trucks 395 Tunnel is 13.0 ft As per warning sign. Amusement abounds as DCPD Aids your reverse up on ramp. Save us from traffic Heed the sign prior to left turn Tunnel blocking sucks. The Roundabout This isn't hard, folks. Barring stop sign/light presence, Yield and maintain speed. Don't let the "merging" concept Stray while circling 'round DuPont. Attention Span Celestial Theorem Look where you're going, and you'll Go where you're looking. Erego, if you're gazing off The Key to the Potomac, I sincerely hope You drive there soon, instead of Slowing MY commute.

That is all.

Prfct10