A Day of Reverence

"Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,Great chieftain o' the puddin'-race!"

Happy International Haggis Appreciation Day!

Ye faithful: On this innocently brisk late summer day, as you are frolicking about your daily pasttimes, let us not disregard our anam cara (soul friend, Gaelic) The Noble Haggis. For today, is International Haggis Appreciation Day!

Let us not forsake the form and function of this glorious foodstuff that has graciously nourished both the thoroughbred patrician and the oppressed destitutes with nary a discrimination. For without the revered haggis, my clan, Clan McIsaac, would not have survived feast, famine, or a treasonous attack by the accursed Campbells (1692, Glencoe, lest we forget)! Twas a fortuitous day indeed when the first shepherd decided that the only possible way to get more enjoyment out of his sheep was to stuff the leftover bits (lungs, kidneys, whatev) into its own stomach, along with some wee neeps, tatties, and barley and roast it. YUMMM!!!

<--Tribute to the Glencoe Massacre Were it not for you, dear Haggis, we would not have such sport as the Wild Haggis Hunt (which was mercifully not banned by Parliament in league with fox hunting). Haggis scotius (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_Haggis) has roamed the highlands for nearly as Ye, my beloved domesticated haggis. Ye also made possible the lovely sport of Haggis Hurling (http://www.haggishurling.org/hweb/Default.htm), a vital part of our national heritage since 1977.

<--Wild and Domestic Haggis

But in all seriousness, my delightfully nutty haggis, ye have been the savior of we Scots in famine and our celebratory sustenance in glory days. Ye were the inspiration of Dear Rabbie (Burns) and the strength o' brave Billy Wallace and Rob Roy. Your revered grayish mushiness hath sustained my kin for nigh 10 centuries and ye shalt be consumed (and fed to unsuspecting tourists) for eons to come. May Your spicy, masticated lung insides never be veganized, for that would be an insult to Your greatness.

To you, esteemed Haggis, I lif' me dram o' Laphroig (for it is 5 o'clock somewhere) and toast ye as only the noble Rabbie Burns could pen:

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin'-race! Aboon them a' ye tak yer place, Painch, tripe, or thairm: Weel are ye wordy o' agrace As lang's my airm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill, Your hurdies like a distant hill, Your pin wad help to mend a mill In time o need, While thro your pores the dews distil Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dicht, An cut you up wi ready slicht, Trenching your gushing entrails bricht, Like onie ditch; And then, Oh what a glorious sicht, Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive: Deil tak the hindmaist, on they drive, Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve Are bent like drums; Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive, 'Bethankit' hums

Is there that ower his French ragout, Or olio that wad staw a sow, Or fricassee wad mak her spew Wi perfect scunner, Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu view On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him ower his trash, As feckless as a wither'd rash, His spindle shank a guid whip-lash, His nieve a nit: Thro bloody flood or field to dash, Oh how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed, The trembling earth resounds his tread, Clap in his wallie nieve a blade, He'll make it whissle; An legs an arms, an heads will sned, Like taps o thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care, And dish them out their bill o fare, Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware That jaups in luggies: But, if Ye wish her gratefu prayer, Gie her a Haggis!

~Address to a Haggis, Robert Burns

This entry is dedicated to Erin, who truly understands the meaning of International Haggis Appreciation Day :-)

Its Ten-on-the-Pulpit Friday!!

Now, even though I am quite politically conscious, I don't generally jump on the pulpit this early on a Friday morning. Maybe its the sleep deprivation that has come from my new 6am-2pm work schedule, maybe its just the gradual realization that merely hoping for promised changes will not be enough. Regardless of the reason, here we are. My Dad sent me the attached video this morning, and one line in it truly struck a nerve. I'll try not to be boring about it. In particular, a line in this production says everything: "We spend billions of dollars to make our points clear." This fact, in itself, is not new to me. The true mental bombshell that hit is that these gentlemen are spending billions (millions each) of dollars to advertise THEMSELVES. To further qualify this as an abomination, preceding verses state: "Citizens gather from both and near, for a ritual we practice every four years, when we promise you anything you want to hear". Again, not at all a new concept, but millions of dollars to say what we want to hear? I can get that for free by going to a pub and talking to any guy sitting there. The cost: a drink (which is usually free anyways) and having to endure 10 minutes of self-promotion. But I digress. Now, you may make the point that it's their money, they can do what they want with it. NEWFLASH: its NOT their money. It originated from PACs, unions, and powerfull billionaire businessmen (including foreign oil tycoons if you're Bush.) Why would these organizations want to spend so-called hard-earned money on political campaigns? To legally buy their votes when the candidate is elected. This is disturbing in itself because essentially the newly-elected official is not going to be acting on behalf of his loyal constituents who voted his skeazy ass into office, but for the benefit of the PACs/unions/foreign investors/big businesses who paid for his campaign. So much for democracy. Viva las grandes negocios! Beyond the above-mentioned fallacy of American Democracy, the extent of the donations/expenditures is just ludicrous. Millions of dollars to whore yourself out to the American public with a serpent's tongue?(W00T religious symbolism!) When we are in a recession? With all the money that these donors/politicians have spare, why not spend it on the national debt, education, infrastructure, clean energy research, govt-funded healthcare, social programs, etc? Of course they couldn't- this method would not directly increase their already exorbitant revenues. To put this in perspective: National Deficit = $410 Billion GDP = ~$1.1 Trillion Congressional Budget = ~$3.15 Trillion McCain's Expenditures = ~$180 Mil (as of 31 Jul 2008) Obama's Expenditures = ~$400 Mil (as of 31 Jul 2008) That's just ridiculous. If our candidates are this unwise with their donations/expenditures BEFORE the election, what do their terms look like? Of course I am aware that this is by no means exclusive to the 2008 Election, W. Bush was I'm sure much worse. They just get to be my example. And unfortunately, the candidates can't win the election without the insane advertising costs because the American public wouldn't know what to do if they didn't have the media to make their decisions. HINT: READ EACH CANDIDATE'S PLATFORM ON THEIR WEBPAGE. Without effective campaign spending reform legislation, we will never have a true democracy because votes are indirectly (sometimes directly) bought. Furthermore, your "representatives" will always be wealthy indivduals (truly representing about 10% of the population) because no one else has the connections or independent funding to win. Canada, as an example, has set measures in place to counteract many of the inequalities and excesses of campaigning. Each candidate has a set amount of money they can spend and an equal duration of advertising face time. FURTHERMORE, they do not have a set election day and only know about it 8 weeks beforehand. The candidates elected in Ottawa are much more financially diverse, from chicken farmers and teachers to former hockey players and rock stars. MUCH more representative of the populace as a whole. More importantly, not bought out by a foreign oil tycoon. Well that's your politics lesson for the day. Stepping off the soapbox and back into my hiking boots.

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